dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize