Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
