a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize