***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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