Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
