Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She told me I should be a condom model.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
