It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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