Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
