And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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