You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
