I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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