As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Mom said you looked used
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
