Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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