So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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