whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize