In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
We are two peas in an std pod
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Lo siento on account of my penis...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize