I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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