I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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