you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
