Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
