Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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