There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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