She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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