I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you would pick up someone in the library
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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