Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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