so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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