He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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