He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
