god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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