Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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