actually, I'm a sock model
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
this boner is exhausting
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
