fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
