shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
