So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
