you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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