Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Congratulations! We have a period
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
