we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
