I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
