That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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