i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
