You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I need a burrito and a hug.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
