im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
