I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
