the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The air was thick with penises
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
