Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
