That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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