He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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