dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
