susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
