Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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