i barfeds in our rink
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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