Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize