why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize