I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
