Porn is love you can see.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
