tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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