I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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