Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He? As in you personified your dick?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
