Is it because I queefed?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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